Dying hopes of a Romantic...

We as women have always grown up in a world of romance and happily ever afters. All the story books we read, and Disney movies we watched always had the prince charming coming to rescue the damsel in distress, and they ride off into the sunset singing. Of course this is not what true romance looks like, there is no singing into the sunset or a kiss that awakes the dead, but it's still there, and will forever be there if you try hard and find the one you are to live happily ever after with.

This is my belief, I have always believed that there is that one person out there to be the yin to my yang. Someone to be head over heels for me even when where 80. My life is that of Noah in The Notebook, I have always believed that one day I would win the love of my sweetheart and that there would be never ending romance until the day we die. I'm not a realist in anyway. I believe in the future and always am optimistic that love will prevail. But now I'm starting to think otherwise. I will always be who I am, the hopeless romantic that seems to be 'perfect' because of the romantic things I do, but if I don't have it in return, I can't continue on the path I have always seen myself leading. I can't think of the perfect wedding and life if I am told to double think the 'what if' possibilities. Everyday I am struggled with the idea of not being loved as I have mistakenly thought I was. There are words that keep ringing in my ears of being too much into this, and that a bullet taken is only one way. Is what I have always hoped with this just a dream? That my reality will soon be shattered by more words of fake promises? Words uttered months ago of what a future holds have no meaning anymore if I am to be a realist.

I what my Noah and Ally. I want to be crazy in love for years and years, I want a bullet taken for me if the opportunity arose because I would do the same. I want to know that I mean as much as I have believed to be. I don't want a love that is a 'just cause' love. That suffices for the time being because well there is nothing else. I want the forever I see my future as. Realists might think that happily ever after is just for Disney movies, but IT'S NOT! I am not like the everyone else out there. If there is to be a happily ever after, then there will be. But I can't be the only one to believe it and I can't be the only one trying for it.

So if it's what it is seeming to outline. You can sing your songs of what ifs and short romances, while I sing my songs of love with someone who sings in the same tune as me. I don't want to wake up one day to hear a goodbye and have my dreams of true love shattered.

Who am I?..

I am...
Leiha, 21year old, female, woman, an adult, a child, daughter, sister, the youngest, friend, aunt and niece.
 Irish American, white, Minnesotan, a US citizen, a lesbian and spouse.
 Semi-smart, writer, reader, my own artist, car owner, book lover, movie addict. Conservative and moderate, a helper, kind, a fixer and mender, empathetic, scared, and scarred. Annoyed and a partial profilist. Coffee lover, role model, teacher, a health nut, pet and shoe lover, high school graduate of 2007, retired softball player, and internal map.
 A future Occupational Therapist, mother and wife.

I am...unique... and well... Me. :)